Wow, what a strange day here in Arizona, it’s a grey overcast day and the temperature requires dressing a bit warmish. Walking over to the Rush Rush I didn’t seen one pair of shorts! Then when I get to the Rush Rush what do I see but an empty patio! I thought the place might have closed down! But thankfully that’s not the case and everyone is inside being entertained by the work efforts of Brittany and her smiling ways!

But, hey do you have a tiger in your tank? It seems that Tiger does! I have heard, seen and read more about this guy than I ever thought I would have wanted to know. Apparently his choice in ladies not married to him have arched eyebrows are “heavily worked” brunettes (whatever that means) with slightly orange skin and lanky with a possibility of body sculpting. The previous sentence is not quite a quote but pretty close to verbatim as I recall! I thought I would be getting annoyed with all of the chatter about another fallen celebrity but have changed my mind. First he’s still alive and after the Michael Jackson saga this is a relief. Second, the ladies being mentioned are quite good looking with or without “body sculpting.” Compare this with the presidentially prurient peccadilloes of a fellow named Bill and see what I mean. Please don’t get me wrong, his pretty, playful pals were beyond my realm as well! One of the first rumor reports had Tiger’s wife outside on the lawn with a golf club in hand. Initially the gossip generator had her breaking the car window to save her hubby’s life or maybe It was to straighten out the hubby’s putter after reports of various other women started showing up. How accurate are these reports? Well let’s see. Depending on which one you read about the wreck itself, the ole’ Tiger hit either a tree, a fire hydrant or a post while the picture I saw showed a tree. But hey should you believe everything you see? And then there’s the neighbor’s report to the police. It seems that Tiger took a little cat nap outside the car after contacting the tree. Talk about cool! This guy has ice in his veins and is totally unflappable. We knew he had cool while on the course but this is the tops. “Mission accomplished, I got the car stopped so I think I’ll take just a little nap” he says to himself! And so there he is taking said nap whilst the world around him erupts in chaos. Absolutely amazing and no wonder he is the best in his game. But why would a fellow with such cool let all of this happen in the first place. Initially this seems perplexing but with patience and a quick scan of all of the reports it becomes obvious. Listen to the reports the neighbors gave to the police and you will hear that his wife, his mother and his mother-in-law all were in his house that evening. Talk about a precarious position, no wonder he was making a get away! Not only does he get himself caught in a house, late at night, with his wife, mother and mother-in-law but he has not one, not two and not three ladies on the side but four other women in his life. And these other ladies seem to have been known to text him; when, where and how often I don’t know but I can now understand why he made a break for it. So when he came to a stop after contacting a tree it’s easy to see why he laid down to take a rest. The world was finally quiet and for one brief moment he hadn’t a worry in the world and could enjoy the moment away from the clamor of the world.

To be, or not to be–that is the question:

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

……. To die, to sleep–

To sleep–perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub. Hamlet, Act III, scene i ……. W. Shakespeare

 

I don’t know if these are the exact thoughts of the Tiger of which we speak but I bet they’re not too far off. Remember this Tiger, old buddy, many of your fellow country men would love to have your problems, even for a day and I wouldn’t be worrying about the sleep business for awhile. When it comes to eventide and bedtime, I think that’s all you’ll be doing until the frost turns to spring.

The ladies in the life of Tiger ought to come on down to Chandler, Arizona and visit What A Jungle. Should they have happened to be there last Thursday notes could have been taken from Piaf while she handled just a few of the men in her life. Upon arrival I found Sherry the Pet caressing the earlobes and the bar was full of gentlemen and one lady while Piaf held court. In the life of Piaf there is always room for one more, such is the expanse of her heart, so room was made for me right next to Griz Granola and up a ways from Hot Rod. All were happy and the music was good. Each and every one of us left with the promise to gather once again in the near future and Piaf smiled for each and every one of us. Ladies, come see Piaf and see how it is done.

So I’ll leave with Holiday Wishes to each and all!

Until next time,

Gump’s Brother

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Hamlet, Act II, scene ii ………..W. Shakespeare

 

And face it we must be doing pretty good as a country if this is the sort of stuff we’re devoting so much of our news time to.

This entry was posted on Saturday, December 5th, 2009 at 11:19 pm and is filed under December, Information. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.